Cha Cha
by PiratelfDair
Summary: What she was really looking for was someone who wouldn't let her get away. But it takes a very special, very insightful, very patient man to cha cha with Lorelai Gilmore. Harmony Universe.


**Title:** Cha Cha

**Author:** Piratelf

**Rating:** G

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the Gilmore Girls. Or Dean Forester. So he's safe, for the moment. ;)

**Author's Notes:** This is in the same universe as Harmony, but was inspired by the cha cha talk scene from 1.11 'Paris Is Burning'

SOOKIE: Aha. How long have you been dating?  
LORELAI: Why?  
SOOKIE: Two months you've been seeing him right?  
LORELAI: Point Sookie?  
SOOKIE: Mmm. Just right on schedule that's all.  
LORELAI: I have no idea what you're talking about.  
SOOKIE: This is about the time you start doing your little getaway dance. Two months right on the nose - you're good.  
LORELAI: I do not do a dance.  
SOOKIE: You're cha-cha-cha-ing right now.

**Summary:** What she was really looking for was someone who wouldn't let her get away. But it takes a very special, very insightful, very patient man to cha cha with Lorelai Gilmore.

Of course she ran. She always ran. Anytime she started feeling too attached to a man, it tripped her fight or flee response, and she fled.

None of the other men understood that they were supposed to run after her.

Two months after their first kiss, Dean started thinking about going public, and Lorelai started thinking about getting out.

"Look, Dean, we can't do this." She put her hands on his chest, to keep him at arm's length.

He stepped back but kept his arms loosely clasped around her waist. "Because I slept with Rory?" he asked, slicing right to the heart of the matter.

She gaped at him, speechless for once. "Well, yes."

"Lorelai, that was four years ago. I am not your daughter's lover." The words made her wince but he continued, "I'm not your daughter's boyfriend. And I'm not sixteen any more."

"I know that," she couldn't help the flirty little smile that crossed her lips.

"But?"

"But – " she sighed loudly, "but I'm still her mother."

"Of course you are, but that's not a reason we can't be together."

"We can't just pretend you were never with my daughter."

"I never said we should."

"Well then you can't deny there is a creepiness factor."

Dean leaned in and kissed her. "That didn't feel creepy to me. You?"

Another small smile, "no." She pushed him back again. "But I didn't mean us, I meant other people."

"What other people?"

"You know! The town!"

"Oh, the town! The people who kept a deathwatch on old man Twickham for twenty years, and then bought souvenirs while they were waiting to say their final goodbyes? Those people? They are gonna find us creepy?"

"Yeah," she laughed. "Those are the ones."

"I have a feeling they'll get over it."

"Maybe, but first there'll be stares and whispers and Mrs. Robinson jokes. And the town troubadour will walk around singing "Stacey's Mom" and town meetings will be called –"

Dean nodded along with everything she said, then interrupted, "- and then they'll get bored or Taylor will go on some new crusade and it'll all be forgotten." He stepped closer and wrapped her snug in his arms. "We've been friends a long time, right?"

"Right."

"What I feel for you now is deeper than friendship. Are you going to say that you don't feel anything deeper for me?"

A sudden memory overwhelmed Lorelai.

_"I say 'I love you', and she just sits there, and I'm the jerk? I'm the bad guy?"_

The first time Dean expressed his love for a girl, he didn't get the same back. Though more cautious in his wording now, he was brave enough to risk it again. And he'd already had the negative attention of the whole town focused on him, but he was willing to endure a repeat of that as well. For her. The very least he deserved was the truth. "No, I . . . I feel something deeper for you too."

"Then we can do this. We at least deserve the chance to see where it goes."

She looked into his eyes. "Okay."

Four months after they went public with their relationship, Lorelai realized Dean's toothbrush had become a permanent resident in her bathroom. A few days later, she found a pair of his boxers in a load of her laundry. Then she was at Luke's on a Wednesday evening when two people asked her where Dean was. And he arrived fifteen minutes later! And she realized she'd been expecting him too! So, she started avoiding him. She cancelled a dinner date with him. That Saturday, she set her alarm to be up and out of the house before Dean usually stopped over, and she spent the entire day in Hartford. With her phone turned off. On Sunday when he called, she said she felt sick and planned to sleep all day. The following Wednesday she did not appear for their unspoken but understood agreement to meet for dinner at Luke's. Thursday he left a message for her at the Inn. She didn't return it. So the next Monday, when she got home from work, he was already there. He'd let himself in with his key, made coffee and put the twelve different kinds of Chinese food he'd brought out on the table. When she opened the kitchen door, he was leaning against her counter with his arms crossed and a serious look on his face.

"Lorelai, we have to talk."

She smiled, a little too forced. "Dean, hey! I was just about to call you."

"No you weren't," he cut off whatever she was going to say next. Her smile faltered and she didn't deny the accusation. She even had the grace to look embarrassed.

"Why have you been avoiding me?"

"Avoiding you?" she echoed, giving herself time to think.

"Oh don't try to pretend you don't know what I mean! We were seeing each other three or four times a week. I was staying over once in a while. And then suddenly, nothing! We haven't seen each other for eleven days! The last time I talked to you was last Sunday when you told me not to come over! I'm a human being Lorelai, not just a figment of your imagination! Just because you ignore me, it doesn't mean I'll go away! Now I want an explanation!"

She went quickly from embarrassed to angry. "Maybe I just wanted some time alone!"

"Then why didn't you tell me that's what you wanted? Why lie to me?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe I wanted to avoid a confrontation like this!" she spat at him.

"I'm confronting you because you stopped seeing me or returning my calls for no reason. Don't twist the situation, Lorelai. I want the truth."

"I need some coffee!" She took a mug from her cupboard and filled it with quick sharp motions. Then she sat at the table, grabbed a plastic fork and the closest container and started eating. All the while not looking at Dean. He maintained the silence until she'd had several long pulls of coffee and was ready for a refill.

"It is someone else?"

She looked up at him shocked. "No!"

"Christopher?"

"NO!

"Luke?"

"**NO!** Dean there is NO ONE ELSE!"

He uncrossed his arms relaxing a little. At least it wasn't that. Everyone has their weak spot and that was his. He'd been on both sides of it and the pain and the shame made him sensitive. He sat down across from Lorelai. "Is it something I did?"

"No," she shook her head.

"Something I didn't do?"

She shook her head again.

He thought for a minute. "Has something happened that you don't want me to know about?"

She wrinkled her brow at him. "What do you mean?"

He shrugged, "I don't know. Are you pregnant or sick or in some kind of trouble? Financial or legal or . . ." he shrugged again.

"No, honey, I'm fine," she reached across and patted his hand.

"Is Rory okay?"

"Everything's fine, I swear."

"Then tell me what's going on, Lorelai."

She reached for another container. "I guess I just freaked out a little."

"About what?"

"About," she paused and looked up like she was trying to remember a term. "Us. About there being an 'us'. About other people thinking of us as 'us'."

"What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong with it. It's just that . . .," she paused and looked him in the eye. "It's just that I had to fight so hard to just be me, to not be my parents' daughter, and that for so long 'us' meant me and Rory. But now it's changing and . . . and I guess I just don't know how to handle it."

Dean rubbed his hands over his face. God, he loved her, but this was such Typical Lorelai. "Can you tell me exactly what happened to set this off?"

"Just stupid things. I noticed your toothbrush in the bathroom, and I realized it'd been there since the weekend before, so I thought, you must've bought another one for your house, which meant you'd probably be leaving that one here, and then I had some of your clothes in my laundry, and then the next time I went to Luke's all these people kept asking me where you were, like we were some kind of double act or something. And then, you showed up! And I thought, 'My God, we are! We're a couple!' and I just wasn't sure if I wanted that."

Dean nodded slowly. "Okay, but you realize that the alternative to that is being alone."

"I know."

"So you've had alone for almost two weeks. Is that what you want?"

She gave him a pouty frown. "I don't think so."

"Well, I'm still with you. Are you still with me?"

"Yes."

"So we're still together?"

"Yes, we're still together. It's just that, maybe we could just slow it down a little?"

"Well, I can take my toothbrush home, and not undress here and we can stop being seen with each other in public, but Lorelai that's not slowing down, that's going backwards."

"I know."

"And it's too late for that, people already know we're together."

"I know," she chewed unhappily.

Dean sighed, got up, went over to her and pulled her up into his embrace. "Lorelai, no more games. I know that you like to test the people you date by giving them no–win situations and being impossible until they have no choice but to leave you or kill you. But I'm not going anywhere, and I don't have any homicidal tendencies. So you are going to face this fear you have of letting someone else be an actual, permanent, intertwined, non-detachable part of your life and we are going to go forward. I've seen you let your relationships stall and die here so many times, but what we have is real, and it's important to me, and it's important to you, so I'm not gonna let you do it this time."

If Dean hadn't been holding her up, she might have collapsed from shock. She knew she had relationship problems, hell the whole town knew she had relationship problems, but to hear the problem put so concisely was like a slap in the face. Maybe she did create impossible situations to push people away, even when she wanted them to stay? "I just don't want to lose myself."

"Neither do I. Why do you think you will?"

"I've seen it happen!"

"It won't happen." He put his hands on either side of her face and looked into her eyes. "Listen, you're Lorelai Gilmore! You're practically a force of nature! If anyone is in danger of losing themselves in this relationship it's me!" he laughed.

She smiled. "No, not you. You're so . . . self-assured."

"That's what people think about you, Lorelai."

She bit her lip, thinking.

"You don't have to be alone to be yourself. Being able to go anywhere at a moment's notice without telling anyone isn't being free. It's running away. Take this step with me, let me show you."

"Okay," she was crying. "Okay, let's do it."

He kissed her. "So we can still be seen together at Luke's?"

She laughed through her tears, "yeah."

He dropped his hands from her face and rested them at her hips. "But I will take my toothbrush home."

"No, no, leave it. I like it here. I named it Brad."

"No, I have a better idea. What about if you start coming to my house instead? And bring Brad."

"But, my house is more convenient. And I think Brad might have a thing going with the dental floss."

"No, actually it isn't. Mine is closer to the Inn. Yours is just more convenient for you because all your stuff is here. And you can bring Flossie, too."

She put her arms around his neck. "Dean, I don't care if you leave your stuff here, really."

"It's not about that. It's about taking a step, doing something new. You come and invade my turf for a while."

"But I have all the good DVDs!"

"That you've watched a million times! Come and watch my DVDs."

"But I know where everything is here," she whined. "And what will Brad do when he finds out you have a new toothbrush? He'll be crushed!"

"You'll learn where everything is there." Dean assured her. "And it wasn't like that with me and Brad. It was a working relationship, we kept it strictly professional."

"But . . . you don't have a key under the turtle, which you also don't have."

"I'll give you your own key."

"But . . . "

Dean leaned close and whispered in her ear, "I have an enormous bathtub, and an even bigger bed."

She giggled. "With Jacuzzi jets?"

"Yes. In the bed."

"I'll have to see that."

"Wednesday night? After Luke's?"

"It's a date."

"Good." He kissed her once more then let her go. "Let's eat, I'm starved!"

So it seemed settled, but settled was never the norm with Lorelai Gilmore, not even after she became Lorelai Gilmore-Forester. Their marriage was eight months old when she began to worry.

They were in bed, dozing between rounds of lazy Sunday morning love making, when Lorelai brought up her concern. "Dean, don't you think this has all been too easy?"

He grinned without opening his eyes. "Hate to break it to you Lorelai, but I already knew you were easy."

"Hey!" She slapped his chest, but it was more noise than force.

He grabbed her wrist then kissed the pout from her lips. "Sorry."

"Well, just don't let my husband hear you talk about me like that, buddy."

"I'll cancel the radio spots."

"But you know, we just fell into this and it was so comfortable. And then Rory was so good with it, and happy for us –"

"Happier for you or me, you think?"

"You of course, I'm an amazing catch."

"You don't think she was excited to have a new daddy?"

"EW! I have told you do NOT go there!"

"Hey, if we don't make inappropriate jokes, who will?"

"EXACTLY! That is what I mean! The townspeople have all been unbelievably supportive. No excessive snarkiness –"

"Except for Michel."

"Please, excessive snarkiness is just a sign of consciousness in Michel," Lorelai responded, before continuing her point. "No Ashton and Demi references –"

"Although Gypsy keeps writing Anna Nicole on my time card," Dean interrupted again.

"That's only because she knows your boobs are fake. Taylor didn't have a meltdown, Luke is still my friend. Your parents have been more than civil. My parents have been . . . my parents."

"Let's not go off on THAT tangent, okay? I get your point. Everybody's happy. So what?"

"So . . . so doesn't it seem too good to be true?" she asked him.

He kissed her lips. "Absolutely."

"No, I mean in the bad way."

Dean sighed. "Look, Lorelai, everything is fine. It's okay for everything to be fine. I love you, the town loves you, and you love me, so why shouldn't they be happy?"

"I'm not saying that they shouldn't be happy -"

"Then why can't we be happy?"

"We can!"

"And aren't we?"

"Aren't we what? Happy?"

"Yeah. I am. Aren't you?"

"Yes, Dean," she caressed his cheek. "Of course, I am."

He took her hand and kissed her palm. "Good. Then let's just BE happy."

"But doesn't it bother you?"

"No, it doesn't. I know it bothers you, but I don't get why."

She sighed and cuddled closer, wrapping his arms around her. "I can't help it. When something goes this well, I can't help waiting for the other shoe to drop."

Dean gave her a squeeze and nuzzled into her hair. "Well, what if you imagine that it's the other Jimmy Choo or the other Manolo? That makes it a good thing, right?"

She laughed.

"Stop looking for trouble. When trouble wants to find us, it will."

"Promise?"

"I swear on the falling Jimmy Choos."

She was quiet for a minute. "How do you do this?"

"What, exactly?"

"Just live. Without worrying."

"I do worry. I just don't worry the way you do."

"What way is that?" she asked in a threatening manner.

Usually Dean was content to indulge Lorelai's humor. It was one of his favorite parts of her. So if she teased him, he teased her back. He followed her non-sequiters with more of his own. He went with her bits. But sometimes she would say something serious, then get nervous and try to joke her way out of the conversation. It wasn't always easy, and Dean had done some trial and error with it during their relationship, but he was learning when to spot it, and this had all the signs. So he stayed serious. "You worry that something bad will happen, just because things are going well. You worry about some mysterious and frightening cosmic scale balancing out every triumph in your life with a tragedy. You worry if you're not having enough bad luck. And then, even though you don't mean to, you create some of your own, to beat the scale to the balance, because you're so convinced that if you don't, what the scale will throw at you will be even worse," he paused for just a second. "And I can't do that Lorelai. It's too exhausting for me and I don't have your imagination. All I can do is worry about the things that are inevitable, or probable or even possible and try to protect us against them. I know things are going to happen that I've never thought of. I don't like it, but I have to accept that we can't be prepared for everything and I can't protect you from every possibility. But I try not to let the worry of what might happen take me out of the reality of what is happening right now. Because if something bad does happen, I'm not gonna sit back and say , 'Well, thank God I have all that worrying to look back on.' I'm gonna wanna say, 'Well, at least we enjoyed the good times and made the most of them while they lasted.' Cause that is what is gonna get me through the rough patches to the next good time, and maybe you too. I know, it's boring, and practical, but one of us has to be boring and practical, right?"

Lorelai turned, rising up on her hands and knees to straddle him. "Boring and practical are soooo sexy on you," she purred. "My boring and practical precious Dean. Mine."

Dean grinned and, this time, was very content to indulge her. And stock his reserves for the next cha cha.


End file.
